• Tips For Mother Of The Brides & Mother Of The Grooms
  • Post author
    Ellie Kemp

Tips For Mother Of The Brides & Mother Of The Grooms

As the wedding season approaches, we have already had some lovely messages and beautiful photos from customers who chose to dress in Out Of Xile for their daughter or son’s big day. We are thrilled to be able to create outfits that people can wear to one of the most important occasions of their lives.  Thinking of those who are planning for their child’s wedding.. we have created a list of tips to helping you and them to have the best day possible..


Money Talks

When it comes to money, clarity is important. In the initial excitement of engagement, those planning  a wedding can get carried away and costs will quickly rise. If you are able to help the couple with paying for the wedding, it’s important to have a sit down with the couple to talk wedding finances. Be clear about how much you are willing to contribute and how you would like to pay for things. It is important to note that although you are contributing money, it doesn’t mean you can chose all the details yourself.


Play Your Part

This leads me on to playing your part.. You probably have lots of wedding ideas, from that great florist your friend's daughter used to the cake you saw a picture of in a magazine, and that’s great. However, don't immediately assume you'll be taking the reins when it comes to planning the wedding. Find out what the couple’s expectations are and let them know that if they need help with anything, you’ll be there for them. If there's something you'd specifically like to contribute an idea to, speak up when the time comes but don’t bombard them.


Dress For The Occasion

Whether you're the mother of the bride or the groom, there are some easy rules of thumb to use when choosing your outfit.

Firstly, follow the formality and style of the wedding. If it’s a beach ceremony, you may want to rethink a structured, formal gown, even if it does look great on you. Secondly, if you aren’t sure – ask! It’s good for both the mother-of-the-bride and mother-of–the-groom to keep in touch with each other and the bride. The bride can help you by keeping you in the loop about her wedding gown, the wedding colours, and style. While you don't want to match each other (or the bridesmaids), it's usually a good idea for both the mum’s to have somewhat similar styles. What’s most important is that you feel confident though so don’t feel pressured into wearing something that you aren’t comfortable in.


Get A Grips With The Guest List

Be sure to talk to the bride and groom-to-be about their expectations for the guest list. Yes, they might be envisioning a big reception filled with hundreds of friends and relatives - but they could also be thinking of an intimate gathering with just a few of their nearest and dearest. Find out what their plans are for the guest list and your contribution to it (remember, the other parents are going to want input, too!). Once you know about how many people you can invite, you can draw up your own guest list and provide it to the bride and groom.  Perhaps put a star next to the guests you feel absolutely must be invited (don't forget to factor in any plus-ones).


Pick Your Priorities

There probably are some things you would really love to see be part of the wedding, whether it’s including a family tradition or getting your elderly relative a good seat for the reception. However, if you make a big deal out of everything little detail, all you'll accomplish is driving the bride and groom crazy. Choose a few things that you really, really want to be part of the wedding, and let the bride and groom know about them.

Focusing on what actually really matters to you, allows you to pick your battles wisely rather than fighting it out nonstop.


Meet The Parents

If you haven't already, once the engagement's been announced, it’s key for you to meet up with your son or daughter's soon-to-be in-laws. It doesn’t have to be a formal get together but it would be good for you to be comfortable with one another for the big day. You can all support one another.



To help your son or daughter have the best day possible, offer to help manage any demanding guests.

Help by relaying information about guest lists, food, travel, hotel and gifts. This allows the newlyweds to focus on other elements of the big day and keep calm.


Tame Your ‘Zilla

If you've got a bridezilla (or a groomzilla!) on your hands, you need to give them a little perspective. While an important role for a mum is being a shoulder to cry on, if they're making everyone else stressed, a little tough love may be in order. While they are getting bogged down in little details and any hiccups, remind them that love and marriage are the important things, not whether the florist is going to substitute peonies for ranunculus.


Be Present

Don’t allow yourself to get so worked up and stressed about pleasing everyone else that you don’t enjoy the day yourself.

Make sure you treat yourself too – have a dance, get a slice of cake and congratulate yourself on getting your child to a stage where they are happily embarking on married life.

  • Post author
    Ellie Kemp